Etiquette Expert Cindy Grosso

The Polished Professional

Why is being present so important?

by

Not to long ago I was conducting a professional table manners program for a college conference.  As I was speaking, I noticed that many students had their phones out on the table and often it was on the plate in front of them before the food was served.

I thought this very interesting as the topic was how to dine in business and the name of the program was the “Million Dollar Meal.”  I asked the people in the room if they were at an interview or a business meeting over a meal, would they have their cell phone out on the table? As they put their phones away, I would like to think that their answer would be no without someone having to ask them….but I am learning that just the basics are needed more and more.

Often while dining out with my husband, we see families sitting together, but not engaged in conversation with each other.  The children are often on their gaming devices, or listening to music with earbuds in their ears while the parents may be talking, and often not to each other. They are often communicating by way of text or cell phones to people not at the table.  I am saddened to think this may be the new definition of family time.

Technology is wonderful, but it should have its limits.  Statistics show that teens spend between 20 to 52 hours every week in front of a computer screen and that does not include entertainment media or the cell phone. The research concluded that all this media exposure was associated with negative social well-being. You really do not grow up in a house with no real communication and become a great communicator. Statistics show the inability to communication well is 80% of the reason people do not get ahead in their jobs and is a common barrier to successful marriages, relationships and careers.

Family dining time is an important time to bond and engage with your children and your spouse.   Allow the dining table to be an opportunity to invest time in one another and develop life skills that contribute to success.  Just because someone is sitting next to you, does not mean you are spending quality time with that person.  Teach your children, teens and young adults to communicate without technology…face to face.

At the dining table consider having them put their cell phones away and get connected with the people at the table. Talk about the day, about events in their lives, feelings, triumphs and failures.  This valuable time keeps us from being isolated, lowers depression, conveys love and research shows it is associated with positive social well-being.

Dining has always been a time to build relationships with others, whether that is in business or with family in your own home.

To receive a Free Mini Personal Presence Coaching Program – A weekly Communique delivered to your inbox. Click here to subscribe.

Business power tea

by

January is National Hot Tea Month.

Hot tea is part of almost every business culture in the world….but what about tea in America?

Hot tea has been enjoyed for centuries and most tea connoisseurs know the custom of afternoon tea is believed to have started in England. The custom is said to have commenced as a pick-me-up in the afternoon due to the long span of time between lunch and dinner.  After experiencing lethargy due to blood sugar drops three to four hours after lunch, afternoon tea was a catalyst until dinner was served much later in the evening and became a welcome event for social interaction.

As is still the custom today, people stop for afternoon tea and tea savories to communicate with one another.  Afternoon tea is so treasured because it is a civilized ceremony that is about connecting and bonding with the people around you.

Inviting someone to have a business power tea at around four o’clock, enables the business person to spend most of the day in the office and is a cultured way to take business out of the office or even end the day.

Another benefit of afternoon tea is the lack of  alcohol consumption, possibly making it a more productive meeting.  It typically is less expensive then dinner and even lunch, but yet it is a sophisticated platform for a business meeting.    The business power tea usually lasts around an hour.

Businesses are starting to understand that an invitation to have a “proper cup of afternoon tea” is not only interesting, but yet a relaxed and refined way to entertain clients.

Today, I feel it is even more precious, as it is a time when we put away our electronic devices and connect with those around us in a casual, yet customary face to face conversation over tea. We have talked several times about the power of being present and that face to face communication is a time when people feel they have been completely heard and understood; such a valuable time in business.

People do business with people they like, because they can! Inviting someone to afternoon tea is a great way to build relationships and get to know others.

Invite someone to an afternoon business power tea today….a very celebrated and civilized event.

Holiday Greeting Cards

by

This time of year many people are sending personal and business holiday greeting cards. What does etiquette suggest?

Etiquette suggests sending a personal holiday card to people with whom you do not give a gift.  Therefore, taking the time to wish them well in the form of a holiday card is their gift. So whether sending a personal or business holiday card, I suggest that you take the time and mail a traditional card.

What about emailed holiday cards?
Even though most of us love technology…..it can not be used as a substitute for personal interaction. An email card or mass email blast can be impersonal.
It may send the message that they are not of much value to you due to a lack of investment of time and money. Also, the recipient may not get it, as mass emails may be picked up as spam.

Even as technology is becoming more integrated into our everyday lives, we must strive to also be high touch. I know many people will be sending or thinking about sending email cards this year…..and it can easily become the norm. However, it is nice to think that the investment of time and money associated with the old fashion tradition of mailing a holiday card may distinguish your efforts from that of others.

Do you know how to personalize a holiday card?
In today’s rushed world, taking the time to personalize a traditional card may be a wonderful way to also show appreciation for the recipient. Personalized notes need not be a book, they only need to be a sentence or two, possibly including thankfulness of the relationship and the wish of continued success.

It my also be personalized by signing the card if it is engraved.
– If you are a couple, the cards should be engraved with the wife’s name first; ex. Jane and John Smith, then just sign your first name signatures.

– If your card is engraved with your company name, then sign the card using both your first and last name signature.

– If it is your name that is engraved on the card, then just sign using your first name signature.

Personalizing a traditional card is important and helps to express a special gesture of appreciation.

To receive a Free Mini Personal Presence Coaching Program – A weekly Communique delivered to your inbox. Click here to subscribe.

The ability to command a room – Part 2

by

 

Your ability to command a room in professional environments is an important part of being successful in business.  In part one of this blog we learned commanding a room begins with how you enter the room.

Here are 10 more tips to successfully commanding a room.

  1. When you enter a room, be aware of your surroundings and who is in the room.
  1. Identify who you would like to speak with and show confidence by stepping out and approaching the person instead of waiting for him/her to approach you.
  1. If there are multiple people waiting to speak with you, or in your group, make sure you do not block walkways and doorways as a courtesy to others.
  1. Keep your right hand free for handshaking. Use your left hand to hold drinks or any items you may be carrying. This will ensure you do not fumble around looking awkward when other introduce themselves.
  1. Be mindful of how long you are with each person. Spend no more than 10 minutes with any one person, as you do not want to monopolize anyone’s time.
  1. Be present in the conversation. There is great power in being present, so avoid looking at a cell phone or being distracted by looking around the room. Focus on the person, with whom you are speaking.
  1. Understand there is more power in listening than speaking and listen more than you speak.
  1. As part of your conversation, quickly try to figure out how you can best provide value to that person.
  1. Have command of the language by using good vocal skills and avoid using profanity, slang or negativity when speaking. Studies indicate the use of profanity is not acceptable to most people in business.
  1. Speak with an appropriate volume. Speaking too loudly is impolite and causes others to have to hear your conversation, while interrupting theirs, which does not build good rapport.

Commanding a room is a skill that will serve you well in your professional and personal life and is an important element of being a person of influence.

To receive a Free Mini Personal Presence Coaching Program – A weekly Communique delivered to your inbox. Click here to subscribe.

The ability to command a room

by

The ability to command a room – making a powerful entrance
– part one

In today’s business world, networking, meetings, speaking engagements are all often common events that business professionals attend.  A component of being a polished professional is the ability to command a room.

Commanding a room starts before you even enter the room.  It starts with intentional situational awareness and the understanding of how to enter a room in a powerful manner.

Tips on how to enter a room in a powerful manner.

  1. Make sure you are dressed appropriately for the event. Attire is an important component of how you present yourself.
  2. Before you even enter, go into the bathroom and power pose for two minutes to change your body’s chemistry. (Harvard Study conducted by Amy Cuddy – see her TED talk) Power pose by getting as big as you can (supermen pose or arms and legs extended out as far as you can) for two minutes. This will raise your testosterone (your confidence hormone) and lower your cortisol level (your stress hormone).
  3. Pause just before entering the room and be aware of how you are getting ready to enter, realizing people are focused on the entrance to a room.
  4. Posture yourself again to take up as much space as possible, however this time within the framework of your body. Getting big in your body’s framework allows you to look more confident. (Refer to number two)
  5. Walk leading from the chi or the center core of your body. This prevents you from walking with your head out in front and slumping your shoulders.
  6. Put a smile on your face. A smile is a sign of confidence. People who are nervous, scared or anxious are not smiling. A smile calms you and the people with whom you come in contact.
  7. Slow down your walk. Do not rush into the room.
  8. Once you enter, step to the right of the entrance walkway and pause for a few moments to be situational aware of the room layout, food, people, etc.
  9. Do not rush over to the food or drink. Trying to handle plates, glasses, drinks, napkins, etc. is often awkward. If you are really hungry eat something before you go.

Do not underestimate the power of a first impression that often starts as you enter a room. How you enter a room will determine your ability to command it.

To receive a Free Mini Personal Presence Coaching Program – A weekly Communique delivered to your inbox. Click here to subscribe.

 

MENU