Etiquette Expert Cindy Grosso

The Polished Professional

Why is being present so important?

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Not to long ago I was conducting a professional table manners program for a college conference.  As I was speaking, I noticed that many students had their phones out on the table and often it was on the plate in front of them before the food was served.

I thought this very interesting as the topic was how to dine in business and the name of the program was the “Million Dollar Meal.”  I asked the people in the room if they were at an interview or a business meeting over a meal, would they have their cell phone out on the table? As they put their phones away, I would like to think that their answer would be no without someone having to ask them….but I am learning that just the basics are needed more and more.

Often while dining out with my husband, we see families sitting together, but not engaged in conversation with each other.  The children are often on their gaming devices, or listening to music with earbuds in their ears while the parents may be talking, and often not to each other. They are often communicating by way of text or cell phones to people not at the table.  I am saddened to think this may be the new definition of family time.

Technology is wonderful, but it should have its limits.  Statistics show that teens spend between 20 to 52 hours every week in front of a computer screen and that does not include entertainment media or the cell phone. The research concluded that all this media exposure was associated with negative social well-being. You really do not grow up in a house with no real communication and become a great communicator. Statistics show the inability to communication well is 80% of the reason people do not get ahead in their jobs and is a common barrier to successful marriages, relationships and careers.

Family dining time is an important time to bond and engage with your children and your spouse.   Allow the dining table to be an opportunity to invest time in one another and develop life skills that contribute to success.  Just because someone is sitting next to you, does not mean you are spending quality time with that person.  Teach your children, teens and young adults to communicate without technology…face to face.

At the dining table consider having them put their cell phones away and get connected with the people at the table. Talk about the day, about events in their lives, feelings, triumphs and failures.  This valuable time keeps us from being isolated, lowers depression, conveys love and research shows it is associated with positive social well-being.

Dining has always been a time to build relationships with others, whether that is in business or with family in your own home.

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The ability to command a room – Part 2

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Your ability to command a room in professional environments is an important part of being successful in business.  In part one of this blog we learned commanding a room begins with how you enter the room.

Here are 10 more tips to successfully commanding a room.

  1. When you enter a room, be aware of your surroundings and who is in the room.
  1. Identify who you would like to speak with and show confidence by stepping out and approaching the person instead of waiting for him/her to approach you.
  1. If there are multiple people waiting to speak with you, or in your group, make sure you do not block walkways and doorways as a courtesy to others.
  1. Keep your right hand free for handshaking. Use your left hand to hold drinks or any items you may be carrying. This will ensure you do not fumble around looking awkward when other introduce themselves.
  1. Be mindful of how long you are with each person. Spend no more than 10 minutes with any one person, as you do not want to monopolize anyone’s time.
  1. Be present in the conversation. There is great power in being present, so avoid looking at a cell phone or being distracted by looking around the room. Focus on the person, with whom you are speaking.
  1. Understand there is more power in listening than speaking and listen more than you speak.
  1. As part of your conversation, quickly try to figure out how you can best provide value to that person.
  1. Have command of the language by using good vocal skills and avoid using profanity, slang or negativity when speaking. Studies indicate the use of profanity is not acceptable to most people in business.
  1. Speak with an appropriate volume. Speaking too loudly is impolite and causes others to have to hear your conversation, while interrupting theirs, which does not build good rapport.

Commanding a room is a skill that will serve you well in your professional and personal life and is an important element of being a person of influence.

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The ability to command a room

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The ability to command a room – making a powerful entrance
– part one

In today’s business world, networking, meetings, speaking engagements are all often common events that business professionals attend.  A component of being a polished professional is the ability to command a room.

Commanding a room starts before you even enter the room.  It starts with intentional situational awareness and the understanding of how to enter a room in a powerful manner.

Tips on how to enter a room in a powerful manner.

  1. Make sure you are dressed appropriately for the event. Attire is an important component of how you present yourself.
  2. Before you even enter, go into the bathroom and power pose for two minutes to change your body’s chemistry. (Harvard Study conducted by Amy Cuddy – see her TED talk) Power pose by getting as big as you can (supermen pose or arms and legs extended out as far as you can) for two minutes. This will raise your testosterone (your confidence hormone) and lower your cortisol level (your stress hormone).
  3. Pause just before entering the room and be aware of how you are getting ready to enter, realizing people are focused on the entrance to a room.
  4. Posture yourself again to take up as much space as possible, however this time within the framework of your body. Getting big in your body’s framework allows you to look more confident. (Refer to number two)
  5. Walk leading from the chi or the center core of your body. This prevents you from walking with your head out in front and slumping your shoulders.
  6. Put a smile on your face. A smile is a sign of confidence. People who are nervous, scared or anxious are not smiling. A smile calms you and the people with whom you come in contact.
  7. Slow down your walk. Do not rush into the room.
  8. Once you enter, step to the right of the entrance walkway and pause for a few moments to be situational aware of the room layout, food, people, etc.
  9. Do not rush over to the food or drink. Trying to handle plates, glasses, drinks, napkins, etc. is often awkward. If you are really hungry eat something before you go.

Do not underestimate the power of a first impression that often starts as you enter a room. How you enter a room will determine your ability to command it.

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The Other Front Door in Business

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Statistics show that 75 to 80 percent of business today is conducted over a smart phone or a company landline. Many times you may not even meet the person whom you are dealing.  With this being true, business owners must come to the realization that their company has two front doors. Most businesses today get far more phone calls then walk in visitors. Business owners must recognize their landline is an important entrance into their business.

The person greeting your guests on the telephone, sets the tone of professionalism of your office.  She/he can enhance your business or be a handicap that you cannot afford.  I once read, “Your business is only as good as your worst employee.”  This possibly being the case, it is essential to teach your team and not assume that people know how to answer or interact professionally on the office phone.  In today’s world, many people only have smart phones. The way we answer a business phone is not the same as a personal smart phone.

Teaching your entire team how to use the office phone in a professional, proper and custom manner, which includes not only the greeting. This is a critical component of consistently delivering excellent customer experience.

The ability to make the caller feel he/she is the most important caller your company will have that day is an art and the sign of a true professional.

Here are some thoughts to help you in that endeavor:

  1. First impressions are made in person, as well as on the telephone. Of the message portrayed by the person answering the phone, 70% is based on the vocal quality and 30% based on the words. For vocal quality, I suggest people put a smile in their voice by putting a smile on their face while speaking, which enables them to speak in a pleasant manner.
  2. Answer the telephone within 2 to 3 rings.
  3. Minimize the background noise when answering the telephone.
  4. When answering the telephone, say:
    “Good morning, ABC company, this is Jane Smith, how may I help you please?“
    “Thank you for calling, ABC Company, this is Jane Smith, how may I help you please?.”
  5. Before placing a caller on hold, ask permission to do so.
  6. After placing them on hold, try to avoid leaving them for more than 30 seconds.
  7. If you answer the phone at someone else’s desk, give his or her name and then your
    name. Good afternoon, Jane Smith’s office, Donna Jones speaking.
  8. If you get disconnected, the caller is the one responsible for calling back. Not calling
    back is like walking out on someone while they are speaking.
  9. If you must return a call, return the call as soon as possible, responding after 24 hours is considered impolite and requires an apology.
  10. When you are placing a call, identify yourself: Hello, this is Jane Smith of ABC Company, may I speak with John Doe, please?
  11. When you reach the desired person, ask if it is a convenient time to talk.
  12. Be aware of your time, talking too long is the same as over staying your welcome. You can monitor your calls with a clock if this is an issue for you. When you reach a reasonable time, politely thank the caller for calling, and end the call on a positive note.

Professional telephone etiquette is a valuable component of sales and customer service that is too often overlooked. Statistics also show that indifference by an employee towards a client is the largest reason why customers leave you; an indifference that could happen before you even get the chance to do business. The training of your team should be as important as product development, marketing, advertising, etc.

Proper telephone etiquette is a significant component of greeting guests through this entrance to your business…the other front door.

To learn more on Professionalism in business please click here.

Being personally disruptive in a professional way

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In my last blog post I wrote about how were are living in a disruptive world. As things are changing and changing quickly.  Technology has had a lot to do with disruption in every business market.  Having more information, faster and easier enables our clients to be well informed, savvy consumers….and that is great!

There is more to it than that however, with more information often times comes more choices and studies indicate that more options often makes it hard for consumers to make a decision, which can lead to no action.

So the demand for professionals to be personally interactive with their clients to help clear up the information overload and be able to distill it into useful knowledge is becoming more and more important.  However, when we focus on the task and not the people, being personally interactive in this faster than a speeding bullet society, small but important things may be overlooked.

The deepest need your business client has is the need to be important. Your ability to personally interact with excellence will elevate your value in the client’s eyes.

So how do we make them feel important?

Here are just a few quick thoughts on the subject:

  1. Use you client’s name (with title when appropriate)…often. The sweetest words to someone is their name.  People like to hear their name and using their name gives them honor and importance.
  2. Communicate with a method that they prefer. Ask “How is the best way to communicate with you telephone, email, text, in person?” Realize your favored way may not be theirs. This could a generational difference or just a preference, but communicate using the method they prefer.
  3. Respond in a timely manner. Responding to people is important and even though we have all the technology in the world, people still do not return phone calls or emails at all or in timely manner. 24 hours for telephone and 48 hours for email is the generally accepted etiquette suggestion. Texts are acceptable, but considered to be less formal and for quick messages only in business.
  4. Listen. When you listen to someone you are pushing the pause button on your life and giving the person you are listening to importance. Listening is such an important skill and it is interesting that only two percent of people have had any training on this interpersonal skill.
  5. Show appreciation to your customer or client and thank them for their business. There are a wide variety of ways to show appreciation and thank someone in business from a simple thank you note to thoughtful verbal words or a number of small acts of kindness.

These are just a few quick suggestions on letting your clients know they are important to you.  These often overlooked thoughts are part of the one percent you are doing better than anyone else that will set you apart from the many competitors in your industry.

These small things put together make up the excellence you deliver and can make you personally disruptive in a professional way.

 

 

 

 

 

 

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