Etiquette Expert Cindy Grosso

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Let us hold the door

February 14, 2019 By Cynthia Grosso

Have you ever been walking behind someone and approached a closed door to have it slammed in your face because the person in front of you did not hold it for you? Or, had to push in someone’s chair as you were trying to exit the table? As you recall times when this may have happened to you, do you also recall how you felt?

This leads me to the question: Is holding the door for someone or pushing in your chair, when possible, just polite actions or much larger events that may speak loudly about you?

Holding the door for someone or pushing in your chair are not just actions, but a reflection of your attitude. When you watch people who just let the door slam in the face of the person behind them, as they walk through the room, they probably live their whole life like that. They have a marriage like that. They have a business like that. They are reflecting how they live their personal and professional life in that few seconds.

Likely, you also speak loudly when you do not push your chair in. I have read that during an interview when this happens, Human Resources wants to know, did you think someone else would clean up your mess? Or maybe you did not think someone else may have needed to get by, which is an ethics question.

Please be aware that we may speak loudly about ourselves without opening our mouths. Your manners and etiquette are not just polite actions, they are symptoms of your beliefs and values which reflect your attitude. Not holding the door or pushing your chair in are just examples of these outward behaviors that we see as a result of an inward attitude.

Not having a conscious awareness of the others around you speaks about your lack of mindfulness for others and your situational awareness of how you are interacting with others.

Becoming aware of the little things can make a big difference in your personal and professional life. Let us be constantly reminded of our attitude, by the little actions we do to check ourselves and gauge how we are doing in life…..Let us hold the door.

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